Hello Hello and Happy May 7th!
While this day may not have as much meaning compared to “May the 5th (be with you)” this day holds a very special place in our lives - Our Anniversary!
Just two short years ago we were getting dressed up, nerves a jumbled, looking our very best while committing our hearts and our lives together in front of our closest friends and family! And boy does time really fly when you’re having fun!
And even though we may still be considered “newly weds”, we sure have learned a lot along the way!
So in honor of it being May 7th, I wanted to share with you 7 things we’ve learned in our 2 years of marriage!
One. Communicate, communicate, communicate. I know you all have heard that this is important before, but it really is true! I used to think that Waylen should just be able to read my mind when it came to what I was thinking or how I was feeling. Luckily, I’ve realized that this was a crazy thought to even think that a guy with differing opinions and differing emotions, not to mention growing up with 3 brothers, would just “get me”. As far as our communication styles go, we could not be more opposite! Waylen is much more - straight to the point, wants to deal with this right now, and wants to fix the problem type. While I am more of the - needs time and space to digest what exactly I am feeling and what caused it, can hold a grudge, and will address the issue if it repeats itself type. Yeesh. But Waylen and I have learned to respect each others communication style and have made points to grow from each other. Which has made a difference in how we go about settling issues. He has learned to give me some time and maybe even walk away for a bit while the emotions are high, and I have learned to be more to the point with how I am feeling and to settle a dispute quicker.
Two. Don’t go to bed angry. This kind of plays off of lesson one, but this was something Waylen brought to our relationship and its been something I instantly agreed with. We make it a habit to never go to bed angry and always settle an issue prior. Even if that means being up into all hours of the night.
Three. Have a sense of humor! Marriage is no walk in the park. It’s hard. And things are bound to happen. But everyone loves to have inside jokes with their friends, so why wouldn’t you want to have that same relationship with your spouse? Waylen is by far my best friend and while some of the stuff we do or say ( okay maybe its just things I do and say ;) ) might be considered “weird” or silly, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. For example, somewhere along the way we found out it takes the same amount of force to bite through a baby carrot as it does a pinky finger (don’t worry your brain won’t actually let you bite through a finger) but now whenever someone points we always make a chomping noise and say “baby carrot!”. Its weird I know. But it always makes us laugh!
Four. Agree on the “Big Tickets”. Faith, values, parenting, life philosophy, financial priorities…these are just to name a few. If Waylen and I didn’t have the same belief about Jesus Christ or have similar morals and values our relationship never would have worked. These are the foundation to each and every relationship and when you can agree on the big things, you can most certainly figure out the little things.
Five. Have a healthy balance between your TOGETHER things and your OWN things. I think this is pretty self explanatory, but it’s important none the less! Just because you live together doesn’t mean you have to do everything together. Have your own interests and hobbies! But also have your activities you enjoy together. For us, weekends at the cabin and hunting are something we share together, but at one point or another one of us is involved in a sport of our own, and I enjoy shopping trips and lunch dates with my girl friends and Waylen enjoys grabbing a beer and watching sports with his guy friends.
Six. Be each others biggest fan. No matter if the win is big or small! And always speak uplifting things about your spouse while speaking to others. It’s okay to joke around and give each other a hard time, but when it comes down to it, you’re a team and your main purpose should be to build each other up.
Seven. “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible”. As we both look to Christ for the ultimate example of who we should be, our marriage grows too. We joined a small group through our church when we first got married and surrounding ourselves with like minded people has been amazing. We typically go through a book and have discussion and one book in particular that we loved and gained a lot of wisdom from was “The Meaning of Marriage” by Tim Keller. If you are engaged, newly married, or married for 30 years, I highly recommend picking up this book. It will change the way you view marriage!
While we have learned much more than just seven lessons in our two years of marriage, I hope that these can be helpful for you! Or if nothing else, just some entertainment for your Tuesday!
Feel free to comment below with any questions or thoughts!